3rd Generation Working Mom

Ten Things I'm never doing again

2011-08-17T21:23:00.011-04:00

Planting sweet corn in our garden. We'd be better off eating the kernels from the seed packet than trying to do the impossible and make corn grow in our sand pit we call a garden.

Buying non "all natural" peanut butter. I bought a big thing of jiff this summer for a family adventure and it made me realize how gross that stuff is. Yes, I was raised on Jiff. Yes, I am choosy. No, I will never buy a gallon jug of that assault on subterranean legumes again.

Letting my husband go unaccompanied to the Tractor Supply Company again. Now we have an egg incubator and a new batch of chickens due on labor day. As if 22 hens and one very vocal rooster weren't enough.
Starting a new medical practice. What a pain in the ass. Sorry Karla, Luann and Jen you guys are stuck with me for a while.

Buying an ipad. Seriously, what am I supposed to do when there are no buttons to mash and no control-alt-delete. I find myself shaking the damn thing like an Etch a Sketch.

Drinking a sour mash beer from a certain creative minded brewery downtown. Bleh

Letting my daughter watch Yo Gabba Gabba. I don't care how many celebrity guests visit DJ Lance. That show is an acid trip and her parents are weird enough to grapple with.

Buying running shorts. Not to long ago I bought two running skirts. LOVE THEM. My beef with proper running shorts is the crap between your legs (much like I imagine boys have to deal with) and spandex is, well, spandex. But these skirts are cool. Not to mention cute.

Fooling myself by thinking I can just read the first book in the series. Never happens. No matter how bad the book I always have to finish the whole series. What is it with me? Why do I do that to myself?
Having another baby. We have two perfect happy children who bring us joy on a daily basis. I thank God for them every day. Two I can fit in the back seat of my imaginary convertible. Any more would surely mean a mini-van, my own personal hell on wheels.

Breastfeeders Anonymous

2011-08-10T09:21:00.002-04:00

One of the things I've been wanting to do more of at our new practice is patient support and education. I'd love to set up an asthma education night or a "healthy lifestyles" night for at risk and overweight patients.

One of the other groups I've been toying with is a breastfeeding support group. I love to talk breastfeeding with new moms and I always wish I had more time to do it. I remember how many questions I had when I started nursing, how hard it really was and how frustrated I got with it. With Adeline, there were lots of tears and feelings of worthlessness at not being able to feed my newborn daughter. Nobody ever told me it could be like that but that it would get better. I'm also kind of sad to say that I didn't get much help from the pediatrician's office.

Obviously it got better and I nursed Adeline for a year. I only quit because I loath the pump. Things went a lot more smoothly with Eliott. He was a natural and latched on right away, my milk came in sooner and I didn't stress at all when he lost almost a whole pound before day 3. I knew he and I would be fine.

Some pediatricians do a good job supporting breast feeding in the first month or so but tend to forget about it once nursing is established. We see a big drop off in nursing after the first month. Lately I've been thinking about why that is. Here are some of my theories.

Women go back to work and have a hard time finding the time to pump or can't pump enough.

They supplemented too much and their supply dropped off because of lack of demand.

They considered it not convenient especially when going out with their baby.

Or like me, they found that nursing and pumping especially can be lonely.

It's all of these but especially this last point that I'd like to address. I have no problem nursing in public (with a cover) I've nursed in sports bars, on the beach, in the parking lot and even in the furniture section of Target. But I've found that a lot of time I'm nursing alone. Joel and Adeline don't care and Dela will often curl up next to me and insist I read one of her books over and over. But when we have company or if there are grandparents around, they sometimes seem to avoid me and Eliott. Of course you are never really alone when your nursing and it is wonderful bonding time but after a while...Then there's pumping which is very lonely, uncomfortable and inconvenient.

To take my mind off of it I read while pumping and sometimes while nursing. That results in a lot of pages covered in a day.

That (finally) gets me to my idea for a breast feeding support group in the conference area of our medical office. I was thinking about making it half support group leading off with a short discussion about a breastfeeding subject and maybe some Q&A then an informal book club. It would be open to nursing moms, their infants obviously, expecting moms and anyone else interested in nursing. It might draw in some moms who have snubbed nursing support groups because they felt uncomfortable with the "lactation Nazis" as I have heard them referred too and maybe give moms something to do while pumping and nursing that might encourage them to keep going.

I just don't know if anyone would come. Does/did anyone else out there read while nursing or pumping? Did anyone go to a nursing group and did you get anything out of it? Why and when did you stop nursing? Have any of my pediatrician friends found anything that helps keep that nursing record up after the first few months?

Tongue Depressors

2011-07-26T13:04:00.004-04:00

Ever since my partners and I decided to go it on our own and start our own practice I have had this image of stocking drawers in exam rooms with tongue depressors. In reality it is one of a million things that needs to happen before a medical practice is open and is frankly on the bottom of any sort of order of importance. But tongue depressors are one of those omnipresent images that a medical exam room brings to mind. Have you ever been in an office that didn't have a neat glass container of the wooden sticks or a drawer dedicated to holding them? They are, in a way a symbolic and universal tool of all physicians.

This morning, after months of preparation, I finally got to fill drawers with tongue depressors. It wasn't anything ceremonial. It wasn't what I set out to do this morning. It just happened. After stocking exam rooms with diapers, wipes, wheeled stools and sharps boxes, speculums and alcohol swabs, barf buckets and reflex hammers I came to the bottom box in the pile and pulled out the little wooden sticks.

It made me stop and think about everything that went into those little sticks and everything that had to happen before they ended up in those drawers.

For instance: First we had to dream up our practice and decide to take the plunge, the leap of faith that it takes to go out on our own. We had to decide that those tongue depressors would exist in the first place.

Then we needed to write a business plan and get a business loan to pay for tongue depressors as well as pay the nurse and medical assistants to make sure that they are in the drawer when I need them. Pay the receptionist to talk to the patient and arrange that they will be sitting in this room when I decide I need a tongue depressor. Then we had to advertise for, interview and hire all those people.

We had to find a building, pick out the cabinets, choose the walls to put them on not to mention the carpet, electrical outlets, flooring and ceiling, even where to put the walls in the first place. Then we hired a contractor to install all of it so that I would have a place to put the tongue depressors.

Much time and energy went into choosing, contracting and installing the computers, printers and electronic medical records so that when I used a tongue depressor I could document what I found and what I decided to do about it.

We bought a refrigerator and installed temperature controls as well as an alarm system for those controls. We bought coolers so that if the controls failed we could save the contents of the refrigerators. We stocked the fridge with thousands of dollars worth of vaccines and stocked the nurses station with syringes, needles, alcohol swabs and band aides, (not to mention the nurses themselves). Then we brought in the health department to inspect our fridge, vaccines, coolers, needles and sharps containers and nurses. All this so that our patients would stay healthy and I wouldn't need as many tongue depressors.

Then we installed an alarm system so that nobody would steal our tongue depressors (or the computers, phones, cash or the giant TV that we use to distract kids while they are waiting for their date with my tongue depressor).

We put ads in the paper, built a website, a facebook page, wrote letters and printed fliers and business cards so that more people would come see us. Because if people came to see us I would get a chance to use and therefore pay for the tongue depressors.

We filled out pages and pages of paperwork for dozens of insurance companies, government agencies and community programs so that our patients can afford a visit to the room with the tongue depressors.

We obtained our own insurance so that if I do a lousy job with the tongue depressor I don't put my partners out of business. More insurance so that if a nurse gets a sliver from a tongue depressor or a patient crams one into his ear and sues us we can still afford to practice medicine with the remaining wooden throat inspectors.

We hired someone to make us a sign, wash our windows, clean our carpet, install blinds, configure our computers, organize our phones, keep track of our numbers, review our contracts, mow our grass, seal our driveway, bill various insurance companies, plow our driveway, call our patients and remind them about their appointments and many more I can't remember off hand. We bought exam tables and diapers, waiting room chairs and automatic paper towel dispensers, pens and ipads. All so that we can do what we do.... well you get it.

There have been a lot of hours, a lot of thought, planning and effort that has gone into starting our practice. It has been stressful and I have felt like I was neglecting my family on multiple occasions. But it is indeed a dream come true. It is a goal I never thought I would obtain so early in life, starting my own practice and stocking drawers with tongue depressors.

The Passage

2011-07-18T08:33:00.003-04:00

I mentioned a while ago that I was saving Justin Cronin's The Passage for my maternity leave. I did this because the book is frickin huge. 750+ pages huge. Makes me wanna buy a Kindle huge. Chicago area phonebook huge. It sat on my bed stand teasing me during my 3am nursing sessions with Eliott, waiting for me to make good on my word. I finally picked it up with about 3 weeks left in my maternity leave, took off the dust jacket and put it back down again without starting it. Instead went and lifted some weights to train for reading it and devoured the Hunger Games by S. Collins instead.

The Hunger Games was wonderful and took me all of three days to read. In fact about 4 chapters in I went onto Amazon and ordered the other two books in the series. But I digress.

I finally started The Passage with about 1 week left and my leave and just finished it this weekend. It was a great book. Epic, riveting, thought provoking and suspenseful right up until the end.

Then Justin Cronin did something that I loath. In the last paragraph I lost all hope for the characters. With a handful of keystrokes he ruined it for me. For them, the people I had spent so much time following, cheering for, worrying about when I wasn't reading. I know that becoming attached to fictional characters is a novelist's job but cheese and rice Cronin, did you have to go and do that? I was mad. I wanted to chuck the book against a wall. I probably would have done just that had I kept up on my weight lifting but I didn't so instead I just threw it onto the ottoman and swore. Joel looked up from his book, The Game of Thrones, another behemoth, and asked "What?"

"Great book. Lousy ending. Don't read it." I complained.

But now, because the book has been bothering me all weekend, haunting me, I looked it up on line. It turns out the book is the first in a series of three and that the next installment, The Twelve, is due to be released next year.

OK Mr. Cronin, you got me. I'll start lifting weights now.

The Things We Do

2011-07-15T21:05:00.003-04:00

Oh the things we do for family, for love and for the future...

I've been back at work now for two weeks and Joel and I have been really feeling the pressure of having two young children and two young businesses. I have been busy with the practice I am starting with three other wonderful docs. And Joel has been wrangling hops and hop growers all spring. In between it all our wonderful children grow and thrive, and learn patience.

Last weekend is all a blur and I can't recall if the events I'm about to share happened on Saturday or Sunday. Not that it matters. Not that you care.

You see, the Michigan Hop Alliance, Joel's fledgling company, has leased several acres of 3rd year hops on Old Mission peninsula. Each of the guys in the group is putting in time on these fields in hopes of a decent profit in the fall. But it is hard for all of them, or even two of them to get to the land at the same time. So last weekend I offered to help Joel out and drive our beat up Blazer down the rows of hops at one mile an hour so that Joel can hang the strings that these happy little plants grow on.

I reasoned that Adeline and Eliott could sit in the truck with me as I drove. If I managed that, then Joel could stand on the platform of the 20 ft tall scaffolding of doom he had constructed to fit on top of an old hay trailer. And it may have worked out swimmingly...but it didn't.

You see, our Blazer, though a trustworthy and stalwart vehicle, lacks certain amenities like heat and air conditioning and rear view mirrors. It smells like beaver dung and fluvial sediments of lives past. It sounds like a 747 readying for take-off though that might just be in comparison to my silent hybrid. And it if filled with junk mail, preschool art projects and empty snack packages not to mention power tools, half a dozen coffee mugs and a wasps nest or two. It also has a thermometer which tipped into the 90s as we careened up center road with the trailer rocking back and forth on the reese hitch behind us.

The peninsula is beautiful this time of year by the way, the cherries are beef red on their trees, the vineyards cast geometric shadows across rolling hills and the lake shines back at you, at times from every direction. Never the less it was F-n hot.

We reached the farm and Joel set up the scaffold. A chore that takes about a half an hour which by shear coincidence is the maximum attention span of our three year old. Lest I fail to mention it, she is in the wonderful "why" stage. (Why does this farm only have 3 chickens, why is the barn brown, why is daddy's drill going again, why is Eliott crying?)

I load Adeline back into the truck, letting her sit in the front seat next to me for the tediously slow trip down the rows of hops. (Why is this seat big? Why is that button there? Why can't I sit on the floor?) All the while Joel is on the scaffold giving instructions (A little closer, Stop, OK go)
About 10 minutes into it a new voice is added to the chorus. (WHHHAAAAAAAA, SOB, SOB, WWWHHHAAAAAAAA) Eliott is awake, and hungry. It has been, after all, 3 hours since he ate last.

I pause, throw the truck in park, (why are you getting out mommy?) and try to calm him down. But Eliott is dripping with sweat (the thermometer reads 92 now) and screaming at the top of his lungs.

So I did what any good pediatrician, mother would do. I brought him back to the drivers seat with me, threw the truck into 1st, (OK you can go now, keep it slow) pulled up my sweat drenched tank top and fed him. (Why is Eliott hungry mommy? Why is that bird there?) Then "mommy I'm hot." And I realize for the first time that Adeline is sitting in the sunny side of the truck, windows down. Her little face is flushed bright red and streaked with dirt that I hope came from the garden behind the barn and not the chicken coop. (STOP! Go slower.) Now Eliott's foot is caught in the steering wheel and he grunts.

Sweat and milk drip down my belly as we make the turn for the next row.

Adeline is quiet for a moment, glancing over I see she has found the empty clam shell packaging of Olsen's sugar cookies and is licking the frosting remnants directly from the plastic. (OK you can go faster.)

We eventually move Adeline to the back of the truck where she can riddle Joel with whys from the shade of the open rear hatch. Eliott finishes his meal and is content to soak his diaper and his car seat and I figure out just the right speed to match Joel's knot tying abilities.

On our way home I can't help but think that this would be one of those days that a great future is built on. One of those stories that you tell your children when they are old enough to be appalled that I drove and breastfed at the same time or that cars didn't always have AC.

But most of all I'm thinking that I'm glad I didn't bring the dog.

Shortest Leave Ever

2011-07-03T13:39:00.002-04:00

I'm sorry that I've neglected to post in the last few weeks. Of course I apologize mainly to myself. That I have lost so many thoughts into an oblivion of caring for a newborn. But I would not trade a moment that I spent with Eliott. So I'll give you the short recap...
Eliott was born at 5:44pm on his due date, May 15th. I managed to plant 48 potato plants that morning and spent only 5 hours in labor. With his sister before him it was a long 26 hour labor with every complication one would expect a pediatrician's child would have including a nuchal cord x 2, needing an amnioinfusion, she was sunny side up and stayed that way through delivery resulting in some wild tearing, not to mention the meconium needing tracheal suction twice, the forceps and the vacuum. Bless Eliott's soul I only had some ("nasty" to quote the OB "This is a very strange tear") tearing.
He took to nursing within minutes and latched like the good little 8lb 11oz baby boy he was. He is growing great and is in the 90th percentile for all his measurements. He sleeps 4 hours in a row overnight and doesn't mind being set down much at all. This is good because Adeline is, on occasion, a handful. As an infant she required constant rocking and walking. She was very colicky at this age and was definitely a trial. Eliott came with much less drama.
Speaking of Adeline, she did some regressing at first. She had a few accidents and threw some nasty tantrums but now she is growing into her big sister role wonderfully. She loves to help wash and fold diapers. She helps cook and pick up. She ADORES her little brother.
This summer and my maternity leave have been complicated by the fact that I am starting a new practice. We're opening August 8th and there has been a lot to do that didn't stop for a maternity leave. So unfortunately for Eliott and I, we spent a lot of time in meetings. I would be signing on for a 6 figure loan in a meeting with several people wearing expensive suites and impressive titles on their name tags and Eliott would be sitting beneath my chair as I rocked him back and forth in his car seat. I would be walking around our new building with IT people, contractors and my new partners, Eliott strapped tightly to my chest in his Moby wrap. I nursed as I designed magazine ads and worked out office work flow documents as I changed diapers or lay awake nursing at 3am. I feel that so much of my maternity leave was gobbled up worrying about and working for this new practice that surely Eliott must have been jipped. But I know in the long run it is all for him and his sister. It's just unfortunate timing for him. It all had to be this way. I can't imagine any other child in my arms at any other time. I can't imagine doing this new business any differently. And now that I head back to work tomorrow to care for other's children all I can think about is next spring, next summer, things will be quieter. Next year I will be able to give more time to my children.

Maybe.

Why me and my unborn son would be better off in Croatia.

2011-05-06T19:15:00.003-04:00

Every year around mother's day the Save The Children Foundation releases it's "State of the World's Mothers" complete with rankings as to where mothers and children are better off. Every year I skim the list and shake my head that the United States ranks so low among developed countries. I even find myself making excuses like "Our infant mortality is so high because we save so many premies." and "Our maternity leave numbers are so skewed because we have so many more women that work." But this year I really looked at where the numbers came from and what actually went into the rankings.
I was shocked!

I'll compare us to Croatia for an example.
The US ranked 31st. Croatia ranked27th.
I'm not even going to compare us to the top ten countries because it's just not pretty. It makes a strong case for government run health systems.... but I'm not going there today.

I am 38+ weeks pregnant.

Here in the United States I have a 1:2,100 chance of dying when I give birth in the next few weeks. In Croatia I would have a 1:5,200 chance. Holy %^&* that makes me more than twice as likely to leave my husband a widower with two kids. Can I still get a plane ticket???

If I were Croatian I would have been on maternity leave for 30 days already instead of slogging though half days of back pain and swollen feet. And I would be expected to take a full year off after I delivered to care for my child. YES PAID!!!

And how could I complain that maybe it's because more of the US work force is made p of women than in Croatia when 24% of their government seats are held by women when here it's 17%. Oh and a woman in Croatia makes 67% of what a man in the same job does. Which sounds absolutely shitty until you compare it to the US where I make 62% of what a male with my job makes. On that note I have to stick my middle finger up to the world when I see that even Norway which ranked #1 that number is only 77%.

But whatever, as long as I have a healthy baby right? Well the infant mortality rate in Croatia is 5:1000 live born births. Here in the US it's 8:1000.

On the flip side if my baby were a girl her life expectancy here in the US would be 82 as opposed to 80 in Croatia. And she would expect 17 years of formal schooling here and 14 in Croatia. Though she would be just as likely to enroll in secondary school here as there (94%)

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot harder places in the world to raise children. I've seen several of them up close and I would never have the strength to walk in those women's shoes (or lack there of). But if Malawi can cut it's child mortality IN HALF in ten years, think of what we could do if we put our minds too it!

Bottom line is that we have a lot of work to do as a nation but the first thing we have to do is pull our heads out of our asses and realize that things can be better for both women and children so that maybe by the time Adeline is ready to have children she is better off than the women in Norway, Australia, Iceland, Sweden, Denmark, New Zealand, Finland, Belgium, Netherlands, France, Germany, Spain, United Kingdom, Switzerland, Portugal, Ireland, Slovenia, Estonia, Greece, Canada, Italy, Hungary, Lithuania, Czech Republic, Latvia, Austria, Croatia, Japan, Poland and Slovakia. ALL of which out ranked us this year.

But don't take it from me, read it yourself....

http://www.savethechildren.org/

38 week pain in the back

2011-05-01T17:12:00.002-04:00

Is there any way I can get one of these on wheels and at counter height? If I could I would be way more productive and comfortable at work. Oh and maybe I wouldn't constantly feel as if my left kidney was about to explode....

Open Letter to my Treadmill

2011-04-22T12:54:00.002-04:00

Dear Sole,

Yeah. I mean you in the corner with the clear plastic sheet draped over your dusty, rubber tread. I've got my eye on you. Don't think for a minute that just because I'm lying here on the floor with 7 pillows propped underneath me in a mad attempt to contort the sciatic pain out of my body that I've forgotten about you. And no, that rolled up yoga mat doesn't hide you from my ire at all.
Oh no.
No way.
I remember.
You and I have a date with my Sauconys, you lazy $!^@*. Now I know it's been nearly a month since we've tangoed. You see all that snow outside. You know full well that these are the kinds of days I love to drip sweat onto your console. Now I know you're laughing at me underneath all that drywall dust laden plastic, I realize that you are chuckling at my sore back and heavy belly. Is that a Mai tai in your water bottle holder??
Even with all your tricks I can still stomp you into the floor. Trust me I'll be back.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but soon.
So be ready. It won't be long now.

Sarah

PS. Sorry I called you a $!^@*. I miss you too.

Could have called that.

2011-04-19T20:08:00.002-04:00

Driving down front street today I followed a beat up Subaru for about six blocks. Said Subaru wandered side to side in and out of it's lane. He almost turned about three times but never did. He stopped about fifty feet behind the stop light at Division and shied away into the other lane completely to avoid parked cars going about 15 miles an hour the whole way. The Subaru eventually came to a complete stop in the middle of the road before making a hard right turn into the parking lot......at the Cedar Run Eye Center. Not a moment too soon.

Hang on Tight.....

2011-04-10T19:33:00.000-04:00

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

The Elusive Child Free Day

2011-03-05T12:23:00.002-05:00

I love being a pediatrician. I love being a mom. I wouldn't change either of those things for the world.

Let there be no mistake about those things. But....

Sometimes I would really just love a day without children. I fantasize about waking up, working out and taking a shower, drinking a cup or five of coffee, doing some reading and writing and not having to take care of kids, mine or otherwise.
In this fantasy day I might even go shopping. It's not something I love to do, it's just that whenever I do it, I can't linger for a moment for fear of losing my daughter or having her yank something off a shelf or break something. Forget trying anything on. I've tried a few times, she either escapes under the curtain into the adjacent stall or opens the dressing room door for the world to see as my head is stuck in a shirt. I love bookstores but with Adeline I can't make it out of the children's section for more than 5 minutes. It's not that she misbehaves, she doesn't know better, she's three and she gets bored and de-shelves all the books looking for pictures. Books are never off limits at home...why would these ones be any different?
On this kid free day I might do some cooking. I like to cook, I like to experiment with unusual recipes with a million ingredients. I love to cook with Adeline too. She's a good helper and it's great to give her tasks as she sits on a bar stool and "helps" me cook. But every once in a while I'd like to have the kitchen to myself.
I imagine moms and dads who work at home have similar fantasies. Just a day to get stuff done and maybe have a little "me" time. Do other pediatricians, school teachers and daycare providers feel this way too? Am I the only one? On Tuesday mornings I drop Adeline at daycare and spend 2 hours on my own before work. Right now, those are my only two child free hours in a week. Joel watches Adeline on Mondays and Fridays. I watch her on Wednesdays. On the weekends we share duties and on Tuesdays and Thursdays she's at "school" while Joel works from home. Even though I know he's working, I envy him and the days he has the house to himself. Is this selfish?
I wonder if I would crave these kinds of days if I didn't take care of kids for a living. I love working with children. I get to laugh and play and be silly while I do what I love. But it's draining too. There is no end to the jibber-jabber, drool, crying and "accidents". I wonder if I had a little more time without children if I would be a better pediatrician and a better mom. Not to mention a better wife. I'm not talking a day a week, like I said I love my daughter and my job and would feel sad and guilty without them but maybe one day a month....

Funky Cold Medina

2011-02-05T17:29:00.004-05:00

So at 6:40 this morning as I'm driving in to the hospital before the larger part of the world was awake, I hear this song on the radio. It just made my day. Nothing like doing a procedure with Funky Cold Medina stuck in your head.

To prolong the day making here is the official recipe for a Funky Cold Medina. Hey whatever might help get Spuds Mckensie to your door....

-one ounce vodka

-one ounce peach liquor

-one ounce blue curacao

-a dash of cranberry juice

-some dry ice.

Enjoy, cause I can't...

So Begin The Doldrums

2011-01-26T21:26:00.007-05:00

So begins the season when I randomly fill the void that the lack of football has left behind with hockey. Namely Red Wings hockey, as if there was any other kind. Someone might say "Have you forgotten about the Superbowl?" No, and I am thrilled to watch a team that the Lions actually beat this year play in XLV. Not to mention that that game was their first conference win in God knows how many years. Actually, I do know. It had been three years. For those of you who don't follow football, that's an eternity.

So before I say good-buy to the pig skin for the year I'd like to send out a few thank you notes. Thank you Jim Schwartz for a better year. Thank you Suh, and back-up quarterbacks. Thank you Calvin Johnson, Jahvid Best and Kyle Vanden bosch with those crazy eyes. (Sorry about all that hurty stuff Hansen and Stafford.) Thank you those of you who might turn into a speakable secondary next year. Most of all I'd like to thank the Rams, Redskins, Packers, Buccaneers, Dolphins and Vikings.

Anyway, hockey fills some of the void, for a few weeks in March there is some decent basketball so long as Izzo lives up to his reputation. The Stanley Cup wraps up in June. Summer is a wash. I think I'd rather eat a baseball bat than spend 3 hours watching someone trying to use one.

sigh

Red Wings just scored and there is blood on the ice, in HD, I might add. So I think I'll be OK for a while.

None Of Your Bee's Wax

2011-01-22T09:34:00.003-05:00

It's become quit obvious that I'm expecting. I can no longer blame the bump on a few extra Christmas cookies, though they did help. I don't mind when patients ask about it. I get a lot of "Are you expecting?" "When are you due?" "Is it a boy or a girl?" "Is it your first?" I'm obviously pretty excited about having another baby so I really don't mind this line of questioning.

But yesterday a mother who I have seen with her children only once or twice before asked me; "Was this a planned pregnancy?"

uhhhh

Nobody but my OB has ever asked me that. I don't think I would have been uncomfortable if a friend or a family member had asked me this but a patient? eek

So what else could I say but "Yes" followed closely by "Keep Johny out of school one more day and here is your slip for checkout."

But it made me wonder, should I be answering any of these questions if I don't feel comfortable answering all of them? Is there a line in the sand when it comes to the Doctor Patient Relationship and such things? And if there is who crossed it? Me by being open about some things or her by crossing a line I had arbitrarily drawn?

Cheater, Cheater Sushi Eater

2011-01-20T12:31:00.002-05:00

So I'm nearing the 24 week mark in this pregnancy. A mark that fills pediatricians with both glee and fear, accompanied with breath holding until about 30 weeks. The pregnancy has been good, easy for the most part, since beating a bout of morning sickness from weeks 8-10.

Somewhere around 20 weeks I started getting really run down. I was exhausted after work, not rested in the morning. I didn't want to run on the treadmill or even walk up the stairs. I was just not myself. I got so sick of it, that after 3 weeks of crabby, sluggly Sarah, I started myself on some iron. I don't know if it was the placebo affect or what but for the past 3 or 4 days I have been a changed woman. I wake up with energy (when little fox lets me sleep), I'm back on the treadmill, I'm not winded after a flight of stairs and most importantly, it's not as hard for me to get on the floor and wrestle with Adeline. So I think the iron is here to stay.

But that said, I'm feeling a little guilty for eating a plate of seared ahi tuna last night. I adore sushi. I would love nothing more than a big plate of sashimi and a side of chardonnay. I know that all fish has worms and it really should be eaten cooked but man was that an excellent plate of blood red fish....

And I thought I had a bad day

2011-01-12T17:33:00.003-05:00

Poor Adeline. Yesterday when Joel went to pick her up at school it was obvious that it had been the worst day ever.
She peed her pants. (Insisting that her teacher wouldn't let her go) Then later she apparently dropped trow and peed all over the car rug leading to the remainder of her class begrudging the loss of said rug.
She didn't take a nap and I think there might have been a poo incident as well. She was desperate to leave, has a horrid cough and a thick runny nose and was in bed before I got home from work.

And I thought I had a bad day. At least I didn't pee myself.

Decisions Decisions

2011-01-09T13:13:00.007-05:00

Not to many days ago I finished reading Beautiful Darkness (by Garcia and Stohl), the sequel to Beautiful Creatures. Both very nice Southern Goth YA fantasy picks. But now I'm in the mood for a little something different. I have several books on my nightstand just waiting for me to read including a few more sequels, a couple newcomers and one random grab off the shelf from the Hull Family Christmas trip to B&N.

I would really like to start reading this one:

Because nothing gets me reading like an apocalyptic, vampire-virus, fantasy novel -happy face-. But the damn thing is 784 pages long and weighs about as much as Henrietta H. Hippo. It's the kind of book that makes me rethink, albeit for just a brief moment, my stance on Kindles. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that kind of commitment right now. So I'm thinking I might save it for my maternity leave.

Instead, last night I started this one:

It's a literary-historical thriller centered around religion and cryptology written by a marine biologist. How could I go wrong? That and it's a much more manageable 496 page paperback with a weight class more closely resembling Giraffy.

Now I know it's a crying shame to chose the books I read based on pages and weight but what the hell. What are you reading?

Pregnancy Shopping List

2011-01-08T09:37:00.005-05:00

What do all of these things have in common?

Garlic Stuffed Olives
Heath Klondike Bars
Wasabi Peas
Conversation Hearts
Frozen Egg Rolls
Hummus

They all came home from the grocery store with me yesterday. And yes, I had a list.

I Can't Remember

2011-01-05T18:53:00.003-05:00

For the past year and a half I have worked full time. Since then my wonderful husband Joel has taken over the household duties in addition to starting our hops farm. At times in the summer he is as busy if not more so than I am but in the winter things have died down. Today as I considered going grocery shopping I realized that there are several household chores that I haven't done in ages.

For example, I can't remember the last time I:

-made a dinner from scratch
-did a full weekly meal planning and grocery shopping
-cleaned a toilet (or a sink or a shower)
-paid a bill
-collected chicken eggs
-bought toilet paper
-shoveled or blew snow (believe it or not I did this on a semi-regular basis when we lived in Cleveland)
-did dishes (not including starting the dishwasher)
-filled up my own gas tank, or got my oil changed, or my snow tires switched out
-cleaned kitty litter
-mopped a floor

As I look at the list above I can't help feel a little guilty and even a tad bit useless. I used to have a pretty good grasp of what was going on around the house. Now I don't even know where the new kitty litter is kept or what our last electric bill looked like. I can't tell you if we have any pasta sauce in the freezer or where the vacuum is.
I still do some laundry and run errands with Adeline on my days off. I love to stuff cloth diapers and water the plants but I'm otherwise incredibly disconnected from the house. As a woman raised by a feminist I really shouldn't feel any guilt about all of this but I do.
Why? And does my guilt mean I should be doing more?

Maternity Clothes

2010-12-14T16:06:00.002-05:00

Well I'm 18 weeks along and I've got a little boy due on May 15th. A few weeks ago I broke down and pulled out all my maternity clothes. I am now moving quickly past the awkward stage where you need maternity pants but maternity shirts look ridiculous.
I am lucky enough to have a lot of maternity clothes from my pregnancy with Adeline as well as a few bags full from my sister in law. I got a lot of cute tops from her but she is shorter than me making her pants not usable.
So I went to a few places to look for a few additional pieces, namely cute pants. And I noticed a disturbing trend. At Kohls, JC Penny and Target, the maternity sections all are composed of no more than 4 racks of clothes. All four of these racks are crammed into a 10 square foot area in the back of the store. I (5'5" 123 pounds at 18 weeks pregnant) could not fit around the racks. Forget about looking at their less than stellar selection of black pants and floral print shirts. AKK!
What makes them think that they are going to sell anything that way?
Ho-hum. I guess it's Old Navy online for me.

Really kid?

2010-11-09T20:03:00.008-05:00

Patient number 21 for the day today was a 14 year old with a cold....and an attitude.
So as I'm examining this snot filled snot, my stethoscope on his chest, he opens up and coughs phlegm all over my face. Not bothering at all to cover his cough or turn his head, just coughs all over me.
Now, I'm kind of used to this behavior from children under the age of, oh, say four but a 14 year old???? Come on.
His mother scolds him. "Patient 21*, don't cough all over her." *Name changed to save my my husband tracking him down and throttling him.
Patient 21 replies, "If she didn't want to be coughed on all the time she wouldn't have been a doctor."
Now back in the day I might have kicked this kid in the nuts (No, I don't regret that at all, creepy guy at Aerosmith concert if you are out there), or maybe I'd have made a comment about his pizza face acne resembling leprosy (OK, so I'm a little sorry about that one, kid from Chilean night club the night Pisco Sours were free for the ladies)
But I didn't I just moved around him and listened to his lungs, checked his ears and prescribed him something for his nasty sinusitis.
Why didn't I say anything? Because he's kind of right. I knew what I was signing up for when I went into pediatrics. It's why I don't mind wresting a kid to the floor to look in his ears, I don't flinch when someone else's two month old vomits on my sweater first thing in the morning. It's why I love to talk about poop and snot and even acne.
And lets face it, that kid ain't got nothin' my immune system hasn't seen ten times before.

Football According to...

2010-11-05T21:04:00.003-04:00

Football According to my 2 year old daughter:

Daughter: "Mommy let's play football in the basement."
Me: "Sure sweetie let's play."
Daughter: "I'm the quarterback, I throw you the ball and then you run."
Me: "And then what?"
Daughter: "And then I tackle you. No touch-touch."
Me: "You mean no touchdown?"
Daughter "Yes."

Football According to my husband:

Husband: "Who are the Lions losing too this week."
Me: "Shut it and go knit something."

10 Things I Wish My Patients (and their parents) Knew.

2010-11-04T12:30:00.002-04:00

Warning: the following is not meant to diagnose or treat any ailment, nor has it been approved for sale within the United States.

10. Corn is not a vegetable. Neither are V8 Splashes.

9. Baby Einstein will rot your child's brain just as fast as sponge bob, it just starts at an earlier age. Don't fool yourself.

8. Chicken nuggets can be "all natural" and "100% white meat" but they are still chicken nuggets.

7. Yes your child can get 8 colds in a year. No green snot does not equal sinus infection.

6. When you come 20 minutes late to your 15 minute appointment you are being seen out of the goodness of somebodies heart.

5. The problems you are having getting your medication filled are the fault of your insurance company. It's not as if they tell us what they cover (even when they say they do).

4. Adolescent depression does exist and it is very serious. Don't take it personally if your kid is depressed. It's not your fault (most of the time) and it's not theirs.

3. I'm serious when I say that your 15 month old doesn't need that 4am bottle of formula.

2. If you don't buy it and bring it into your home, your child will not eat it. If they don't have a TV in their room they won't watch it.

1. I'm not here to break the news to your 8 year old that there is no Santa. Don't bring him in for that.

ADDICT

2010-09-06T12:19:00.003-04:00

My husband regularly accuses me of being an addict. Sometimes it has to do with not being able to get off the treadmill but more often (especially these days) it has to do with books.

I
Love
Books

I love the smell of them, the feel of them, the way a spine cracks when you open it for the first time. I blame my parents. They always had a ton of books. The walls in the office, the loft and several bedrooms in their house were lined with shelves. Those shelves were lined with books. they've gotten rid of quite a few of the books and shelves but they still have a lot.

I see myself heading in the same direction. Yes I know there are libraries. TC has a very nice one with about any book you would want to read but it's not the same. For the same reason I don't see myself giving into the ebook revolution though I do support the idea of ebooks with great enthusiasm. It's also not the same.

As a consequence the UPS guy regularly drops an amazon box at our doorstep. Joel shakes his head and I add another book to my "too read" pile. The nice shelves Joel built in the basement for me are full and I'm starting to eye other potential shelf locations.

If that wasn't bad enough I've pulled my innocent daughter into the fray. I can't take her downtown without a trip into Horizons Books or a swing past the book department at Meijers.
At a garage sale recently I bought 12 books for her for a mere buck! It's not as if she insists on getting a book, but it really gets her excited and she LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, to read. Yesterday we read for about 3 hours total, not including her usual 4 bedtime books.

So here's what I'm reading now:

And here is Dela's current favorite:

Place In Life

2010-08-16T12:55:00.002-04:00

Or Why Is The Med-Student Pimping Me???

OK, so I get that you're a third year student. I get that you are doing your reading and that you've acquired a lot of very useful (and a fair amount of not so useful) medical knowledge. But you don't have to prove it to me by asking me questions and then telling me "Good job" or "That's right" when I get them right. Its MY JOB to get them right....Incredibly annoying.

I don't usually pimp students. I do ask questions, reinforcing what we've seen or have them come up with differential diagnoses. I like to have them work through mini-cases which I think is way more helpful than asking pointless questions like "What kind of media does campylobacter grow on and at what temperature?" But this afternoon I think I'm gonna have to change the game....Watch out kid, here comes the pimp.

Balance

2010-07-26T21:58:00.003-04:00

Not to long ago I had a mom asked me how I balance my home life and my work life. At first I was taken aback. After all, how did this woman know I had any kind of balance? And then I thought, how does anybody know if they have reached the right balance? Isn't life as a working mom more a a pendulum that swings constantly and erratically from one side of life to another?
It seems that one week I think that my family life is wonderful. I'm able to spend time with my daughter and husband, sit and relax at the beach with a little G&T watching every little change in my daughter happen right before my eyes. Those are the weeks where I forget about work. I don't read my journals, I get lax about my usual "Get there 15 minutes early" rule. I'm just not focused.
And then there are weeks where I'm on at work. I have my paperwork in perfect order. I've called every patient that has been haunting me back to check on them. My "to read" stack is gone but I come home and feel that I've missed something...
The funny part is that these feelings aren't related to the amount of time I spend doing each one. The time (with the exception of time on call) is the same. I feel my balance swings where my focus takes me. My pendulum is tied to my mind and not the time clock. I guess that it's good that I can shift back and forth, I just wish I didn't have to miss anything in between.

What Happened?

2010-07-19T21:49:00.002-04:00

I just want to know...

What happened about 9 months ago that made people want to make so many babies that my census sheet is overflowing and my fingers are sore from using the gomco clamp? Don't get me wrong... I like the babies. Rounding on happy, healthy families is a great way to start the day but my goodness...

Here are my theories:

-H1N1 ("We're all gonna die. Let's make a baby.")

-The Recession ("No work to go to. Let's make a baby")

-The first snows of winter ("I don't have my snow tires on yet... Let's make a baby.")

What do you think?
-

First Harvest

2010-06-08T12:49:00.002-04:00

Yes it's time for the first harvest of our spring efforts!
Earlier this week I picked some cilantro and basil from my herb garden and added them to a few favorite summer recipes for a delicious start to the "fresh food" season. I've posted the recipes below. The salsa is a pretty common recipe but one of my favorites none the less. My take on the Capri salad came out of necessity. (I didn't have any regular balsamic to use so I had to use the cinnamon pear balsamic from Folgarelli's. It sounds weird but Joel and I have been eating this stuff nearly daily and we can't get enough.)

Mango Salsa
-one semi firm mango
-one semi firm peach
-half a sweet red pepper
-quarter of a red onion
-a handful of the green part of green onions finely chopped
-a handful of fresh cilantro finely chopped
-juice of one lime
-a dash of salt

-cut the fruit into quarter inch chunks and the veggies even smaller, add the onions, salt and cilantro then stir in the lime juice
-chill for a few hours then serve (I like mine with a pepper lime chicken or just with tortilla chips)

Capri Salad
-fresh mozzarella chopped into half inch chunks ( 1-2 cups)
-equal amount of cherry tomatoes halved
-a few sprigs of basil finely chopped
-a splash of cinnamon pear balsamic

-stir and serve

I'd love to hear about your favorite to-dos with fresh herbs!

Weed Be Gone

2010-05-27T19:45:00.004-04:00

Nobody likes weeding. Right? Well I have to admit that even though I dread weeding I do find it incredibly satisfying. There's something about rescuing your pretty plants from your ugly ones that makes the dirt under your fingernails worth while.

This tool makes it even better and a lot easier.

My neighbor in Cleveland had one similar and I always coveted it. Then Joel got me one for Spring Gardening Day this year. It's so easy to use and so cheap that every gardener should have one.
All you have to is hold onto the weed and run the lip of the tool down the stalk of the weed along the root then lift up on the weed and they just pop right out. Even Dandelions that have evolved over millenia to drop their leaves at the slightest pressure leaving the root intact come gliding out from between your phlox with ease.
Happy gardening everyone!

A Different Kind of Work

2010-05-16T21:33:00.008-04:00

We all know I work outside the home. I love my job. It's a very rewarding job but I also very much enjoy my weekends off.

This weekend was not really a weekend off. This was the Mulder "Spring Planting Weekend." Recently expanded from the "Spring Planting Day" due to the amount of planting to be done. It was a very successful weekend and I feel very accomplished.

I feel as if I provided for my family in a different way this weekend. I have provided food for my family. Well, in a few months it will be food.

Take for example the tomatoes. With about ten dollars (seeds, peet pots and a handful of compost for each plant) I planted 44 tomato plants. Those tomato plants, on average, should yield 10-15 pounds each, which we will make into tomato sauce by the gallon, salsa by the jug and still have plenty fresh to eat on our burgers and roast for freezing.

And that's just the tomatoes. It doesn't include the peas, carrots, spinach, lettuce, beans, squash, pumpkins, zucchini, peppers, potatoes, asparagus, and corn. Not to mention the "experimental" broccoli, celery, fennel, tomatillos and black Japanese watermelon. They're experimental because we've never grown them before and we don't really know how to.

Then there's the herbs. With one packet of basil seeds I have more than 30 plants just growing along happily until they get turned into sauce.

On a more long term note the fruit plants I put in (blueberries, grapes, raspberries and cranberries) probably won't produce until Adeline starts grade school...

My point is that working with the earth, really getting on my hands and knees to nurse these little plants into organic, natural food for my family is incredibly rewarding. So despite the sunburn, the sand in my mouth and the blisters on my hands I feel like I had my most productive week(end) at work in a long time...

Tic, Tic, Woosh

2010-05-12T21:33:00.001-04:00

Or Major Cheese Failure

It started out as a failure. It really did. Doomed from the start. A simple cheese recipe I had used a dozen times. Probably the oldest cheese recipe known to man. (Boil milk, add lemon juice, drain) All I did was double it and use a different pot.

I could blame the failure on the pot or the nebulous law of doubling a recipe but I prefer to blame it on the stove. It's one of those flat top jiggers that is "easy to clean" and provides "even heat".

Whatever. They suck. Don't ever buy one. Oh how I miss the Tic-Tic-Woosh of a gas stove lighting. I miss not burning the bottoms of my pans and whatever settles to the bottom of my pots. Including my ill fated cheese.

The worst part is that getting a gas stove would involve not just pulling a gas line to the kitchen but also pulling one to the house. We have no gas. Don't get me wrong. I love that we don't have a gas bill, I just miss cooking with gas.

Maybe I'll start making cheese on the grill.

Something Had To Give

2010-05-06T12:17:00.002-04:00

And this time it was my running.

About 5 months ago, in the dead of winter, when this spring was a distant dream, I signed up for a 10k on May 29th. At the time I was running 3-6 miles at a time, 3-4 times a week on the treadmill. I could have run the race then. But the race wasn't then. The race is 3 weeks from now. And I haven't run in a week and a half.

It's not that I've been lazy. Far from it. I've had a very productive spring. As has Joel. It's just that I've had to make a series of choices that seemed to leave running out of the picture. I can't say that I regret any of those choices. I just wish I didn't have to make them.

These choices have included:
1) Clearing out an area for and building a herb garden behind the house out of pavers and 4 square yards of dirt I hauled up the hill from the garden one wheelbarrow full at a time. I'll try to post some pics. It turned out very well. I can't wait to plant my herbs in it next week.

2) planting and caring for a garden's work of plants from seed.

3) planting, watering, mulching, training 6 seedless grape vines and 12 raspberry bushes. The blueberries, cranberries and fruit trees are yet to arrive. Thankfully.

4) doing all of the above for 100 asparagus plants not to mention the potatoes, garlic, onions, shallots and other tubers I haven't had a chance to get to yet. (Anyone want any asparagus?)

5) chickens. Nuf said

6) Hops yard. Joel admittedly did most of the work here but every hour he spent working, I spent watching Dela and not running. I've thought about a jogging stroller for us, but our area is way too hilly to both push it up the hills and control it on the way down.

7) Painting the living room, bathrooms and guest room.

8) just relaxing for a moment and enjoying my daughter and Joel when all of the above is done.

Now that I've listed all of that out, I do feel pretty accomplished. I just wish I would have saved myself the entry fee on that stupid race...

Mommy Outsider

2010-04-15T20:47:00.003-04:00

One of my fellow bloggers recently talked about the Mommy Mafia and how all of us moms are guilty of the practice in one way or another. I have often felt that besides the mommy mafia there is the mommy hierarchy. I don't rank very high up on said hierarchy.

On Wednesdays I like to take Adeline out and about. We go to the library for Wigglers. We go to the park or the indoor play area at the mall. It is kind of my chance to get to see how the other half lives. What I've found is that Adeline and I don't travel in the right circle. It seems that no matter when or where we go there is a group of women and their toddlers who are all about meeting you.... until you tell them that you work. All I have to say is "Wednesday is my day off so we like to get out" and the curtain comes down. It's a conversation ender and I don't know why. It's not what I do because we rarely make it to that point.

There are a few exceptions.
Every once in a while I'll meet a mom new to the area and we'll chat for a long time. Or I'll see a patient out and about with either their mom and dad and we'll talk. But there is a clique...

I rarely meet another working mom out on a Wednesday morning. They're usually the ones sitting alone watching their children play, like me. So this is who I try to strike up conversations with now.

I think I'm not going to worry about the other ladies for right now. That's what I thought right up until one of their sons yanked my daughter around by the collar of her shirt and pushed her down the slide. Action which was followed by less than effective discipline. (Yes a mommy mafia comment but the boy did turn right around and push his own brother down.) Now I think I might just find a new park.

Luckiest Girl Ever

2010-04-06T20:41:00.002-04:00

I am sitting at the kitchen counter, writing on my laptop (a Christmas present from my husband) and watching said husband make two made to order pizzas from scratch. One Hawaiian, one red pepper and pepperoni. I am drinking Sangria and facebooking while he lovingly makes dinner. Our daughter is sleeping soundly and mini Friday is here.

I am the luckiest girl ever.

Thursday Hangover

2010-04-01T13:05:00.002-04:00

OK So it's not that I booze it up on Wednesday nights. (Fire and Wine nights the exception.) It's that I have Wednesdays off. No rounds, no office hours, no long list of patients. It's my free day to spend with Joel and Adeline. It's the day that makes being a working mom bearable.
Yesterday for example I spent the whole day with Adeline. We ran errands and went to the book store, which she loves even more than the library because the kids section is bright and fun and accessible for kids. We came home and played outside for a long time. We blew bubbles. Adeline watered the patio. After nap we were back outside and then had a nice relaxing dinner as a family.
Wednesdays are wonderful. They are peaceful and calming and a perfect intermission to my work week.
Thursdays always come after Wednesdays like a slap in the face. Some days, like today, it feels like my first day back from maternity leave. I miss Adeline so. Even knowing that Joel is home with her only makes it a little better. I still feel a little guilty...
Yes I get two Saturdays a week (and a Sunday) but I also get two Mondays. If I were still working for "The Clinic" I would not have a day off in the work week and many moms don't at all. (Many mom's don't have to leave in the middle of the night on a moments notice and maybe not be back until the next evening either.)
Today I had to round to top it all off. Ugh. AND I'm the only doc in the office which means I'm tied here over lunch and maybe into the evening. I'm also on call again tonight as I cover for a partner who's on vacation.
But hey, tomorrow is Friday again.

Short Hair

2010-03-24T18:10:00.003-04:00

I have never had short hair. Ever. I think the last time my hair was this short was the bubble gum incident of '84 but my parents are welcome to correct me if I'm wrong.
I'm not even sure why I cut it off. I think it was because at work I have to keep my hair out of my face or it drives me nuts. Plus I keep it up when I'm working outside or in the kitchen at home as when I'm running. So that about describes 95% of my life.

So I went to a nice salon downtown and I pointed to a picture in a book. I think it was this chic only I don't remember the cleavage:

The hair lady, Darlene, pulled out a razor blade. Yes she cut hair with a razor, and an hour later I had short hair.

So now....

I love it! I will admit that it's a little harder to get ready in the morning and I have resigned to using a little product but it's still pretty quick. Plus I thought running with short hair might be a bit annoying but it's not. I actually really like it. Oh and it turns out my hair is curly.
This picture isn't the best shot of it but you get the idea. My hair is now short and I have a hair lady. We'll see how long it lasts.

Is This Bad?

2010-03-18T08:49:00.002-04:00

Time management is a constant struggle for any working parent and if you're like me you find yourself making choices that you wish you didn't have to make. They aren't always life or death decisions but more often challenges to your parenting ideals.

For instance:

Last night I really wanted to run and spend some time on another project I have going. The problem is there are only so many hours in the evening. Adeline goes to bed around 7:30 or 8 now so I would have to choose one or the other.
OR
Do one while Adeline was still awake thereby sacrificing precious together coloring and play dough time. (Joel was busy with other things)

So I chose to run while Adeline was awake. I sat her on the couch in the basement and turned on Dora while I ran 3 miles on the treadmill. The timing was perfect, just as the episode finished I was cooling down. But I feel bad doing this. Mainly because I abhor the idea of TV as a babysitter and it promotes my daughter sitting on her butt rather than playing. If I had just let her play while I ran she would have tried to climb onto the treadmill with me. Trust me, we've tried.

The question is: Does my physical activity set a good example for her? (She did sit on the exercise mat with me afterward joining me in my stretching and crunches.) Does that off set a half an hour or mind numbing cartoons? Or am I being selfish and promoting a bad habit for Adeline?

Spice Obsession

2009-11-12T14:18:00.003-05:00

I am in love with Indian food right now.
The problem: No Indian restaurants within 100 miles. Though I'm told now there is a lady who sells some Indian food out of a freezer in the back of her grocery store if you know the right way to ask.
The solution: I'm cooking a lot of it.

Don't get me wrong. Joel still does most of the cooking around our house. (He made a most excellent sesame salmon the other night.) But when I have a day off to cook it usually involves masala. Aarthi gave me a quick lesson on cooking before we left Cleveland and that was very helpful in teaching me how to use the spices. Since then I bought myself a great book and I've tried about a dozen recipes from it. It's awesome.

Along the way there have been a few hiccups and advice to share for anyone interested in cooking some Rogan Josh for themselves:
-don't burn the mustard seeds in oil, you'll set a wooden spoon on fire.
-Some of the spices are not easily found. I had to buy my cardamon pods and Amchur on amazon.com (love amazon!)*
-cook and store. I've had luck cooking a lot of things in bulk and freezing it so that it can just be pulled out and added to a meal with a fresh dish later.
-It makes a mess. I cooked an indian meal last week for some friends and I used every pot in the kitchen at least twice. I'm not kidding, I did a lot of washing.

*The spices themselves amaze and interest me. I have a seed and pod shelf in my spice cabinet now. I use turmeric and cumin more than I use basil and thyme. I have green and black cardamon pods in neat little glass containers and I just harvested my first batch of saffron. I love the smell, the feel, the taste of all of these ingredients.

All in all I love Indian food and since I'm so far from a restaurant it's worth it to have to cook it for myself. SO if any of you have any favorite Indian recipes please send them my way.

Next stop Thai????

Tread Lightly

2009-11-10T13:49:00.003-05:00

It seems that I have not been alone in my fall funk. A quick sampling of various friends' blogs, Facebook statuses and emails make me feel like there is something in the air that we are all breathing. I feel ya girls. I'm there with you. But I'm getting a little better. My funk is dissipating and I can feel myself coming up for air.

Joel and I have been really busy lately. Joel is building a hops trellis and spends most of his spare time in the fields. I'm at work a lot which has been very busy with influenza etc. lately. When I'm not at work I'm spending time with Adeline which is precious time indeed but also limits the time I can spend doing other things. I still find some time to read and time to spend with Joel. These things are easy to do once Adeline is in bed and the sun has gone down. But the one thing that I had all but cut out of my life to make room for Adeline and my new job was exercise. Ah yes, the age old story. Woman has baby, goes back to work, and doesn't have time to address the plaque she can feel building up in her arteries as she misses run after run.

Overly dramatic, maybe, but I really feel a huge difference in my mood when it's been a while since I got some good cardio in. Ask Joel, when we lived in Cleveland every once in a while he would just say, "Sarah, I think you need to go to the gym." I know that these words have sparked marital strife the world over but it is not his intention to imply that my thighs are starting to get unruly. It's just his way of saying I'm being a bitch.

Over the summer Joel and I were better. After Adeline went down we would take turns running while it was light until nearly 9:30 at night. But alas fall and hops have come upon us and our evenings and weekends have been gobbled up by dusk and manual labor. Meanwhile my Sauconys stare at me from the bottom of the hall closet as if to say "What did we do wrong Sarah?". It's not my shoes' fault. It's just life.

But last week Joel and I bought a treadmill. A nice one. One that is quiet enough not to wake up Adeline if I run in the morning or at night. And I love it. I've been on it nearly every day and I remember now why I've often considered myself a treadmill slave. I can't get off it. I'll get on to do a quick two miles and then I'll say to myself, OK just finish up this five minutes, then it'll be like, alright just go to you hit 200 calories, then it's well you're almost at 3 miles you might as well just do that much.... It's nice to feel that my body remembers it's job. It remembers that I like to sweat and I like to run.

Anyway, the funky cloud is rising... The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train... I hope all of my friends out there struggling with life's problems much larger or smaller than mine find your way out of the fog.

Enough Already

2009-10-29T20:56:00.004-04:00

For some strange reason I recently started to read Anne Rice's The Witching Hour. I like Anne Rice, The Vampire Chronicles were fun for the first few books and I've been in kind of a spooky reading mood lately. I also think I needed something a little less, um shall we say, depressing than some of the stuff I had been reading. I bought the book on Amazon and started reading pretty diligently about a month ago. Unfortunately the book is freaking 1020 pages long and I have not finished. Uggg.
Let me tell you once you get in about 700 pages you just can't turn back. At least I couldn't. And now with about 90 pages to go I'm afraid Ms. Rice didn't tidy up an ending for me. I just don't think she could do it in such short a time. I will be pretty mad if I get to the end of a thousand pages and have to get the next thousand page book to find out what happens.

In defense of the book it has been fun. A complete fantasy Epic about Witchcraft and the south. Nothing heavy or meaningful, just fun. But I can't wait until it's done.

The question is what should I read next?

Under Pressure

2009-10-11T20:03:00.002-04:00

What's the deal?
This weekend Joel, Adeline and I went to Grand Rapids for the wedding of a cousin of mine. All weekend long we got the "Second Baby Pressure." I mean seriously. Adeline isn't even twenty months yet and they want me to give her a sibling? It all started innocently enough with simple comments like "She's so cute, you should have another." or "save those clothes for baby number two." As if a second child is an inevitable event. Then the questions like "So when does Adeline get a brother?" or "Do you have enough bedrooms for the second nursery?" or my least favorite the "Are you pregnant yet?"
My nipples haven't recovered from baby number one and they're all pushing number two???? Doesn't Adeline need another cousin before she gets a brother or sister. Or at least a puppy. Don't I have enough going on right now? As if joining a new practice, starting a small business and raising one child weren't enough. And it came from everywhere not just my parents but grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...
Then as if the pressure for another child wasn't enough then the accusations of pregnancy started. I couldn't believe it!! At one point after about my 4th glass of wine for the evening I had two family members who will go unnamed forcing a 5th glass of wine in my face and chanting "chug, chug, chug" to prove that I wasn't pregnant already. I refused to chug another glass of wine for fear of losing my ability to walk but the maddness escalated until a very nice uncle stepped in and demanded that it all stop!
How did all this start? Am I getting fat? Do I have a paunch that they all think is child number two? I can't blame it all on drunken debauchery though that excuse does go a long way.
Anyway none of this is helping the sibling cause any if for no other reason than it is driving me to drink heavily at family events. Maybe moving to Michigan wasn't the best idea after all. In the meantime I'm going to start researching raising only children.

Fall Nesting

2009-09-30T15:34:00.002-04:00

It happens to me every year. The sun gets lower in the sky, the leaves start changing and I start looking desperately around the house and yard for things that I want to change. What's nice this year is that I don't have to think about all the work I'm doing for someone else. I have a feeling we're going to be in this house for a long time.

So today I did a little planting. I uprooted some of the johny jump ups that had jumped up at the edge of the yard, separated out some Giallardias and planted them with some transplanted Daylilies and a few bulbs at the edge of the "Adeline Garden".

My Saffron crocuses have sprouted and I should be able to harvest my first batch of saffron in a few short weeks. It makes me want to figure out how to grow cardamon, coriander and turmeric.

The bathrooms, master bedroom and living room are on the list of things to paint and there are a stack of things that I want to frame and hang. Not to mention the hops poles that should be here in a few days...

But the hard part is that free weekends are hard to come by. Our next one is Halloween!!! And it's hard to do any of this with Adeline around especially 'cause she's so much fun to play with.

Anyway, it's fall and I've got the nesting bug...

Peanut Butter

2009-09-06T11:34:00.003-04:00

Ok So I know that we're supposed to hold off on peanuts until Adeline is 3ish and now she's only 18 months. I preach it every day but lately I've been eyeing the Nutella and all natural Peanut butter and wishing I could just give her a little bit. I know she'd love it and it's such a nice portable lunch staple. Especially for picnics on the beach.
But I'm paranoid about food allergies. I know there isn't a strong history of them in our family but Joel is pretty allergic and when Dela was about 8 months old she did have a reaction to God knows what. She's a good eater and there is no real reason to give it too her early except my own desire to share this cool food with her. So I put the Smuckers PB back on the shelf and mentally compromised with myself that I'll at least wait until she's two...

Shout Out

2009-08-11T16:25:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to give a quick shout out to my husband for all the work he's done since I started my new job. He has been home taking full time care of Adeline, (a position I greatly envy). Since I started full time at my new practice I have not done a single load of diapers or other laundry. I've not had to do grocery shopping, vacuuming, toilets, sweeping or dishes. I have only cooked when I wanted too and my biggest household responsibility is making the first pot of coffee in the morning.
It is SOO NICE. I know being a stay at home parent is a lot of work and many times a thankless job but I am eternally great-full for my husband's efforts.

Joel you ROCK!

New Job

2009-07-24T19:56:00.003-04:00

Well my first week at my new practice is done. I feel pretty good about it all told. It was (is) hard to learn a completely new hospital system. Who do you call for this or that. What resources are available and what do we do ourselves. I'm getting used to handwriting notes and flipping through paper charts again. All in all I like the simpler system. I also really like the way Michigan tracks vaccine administration. There is no guessing what's been done where and when and what is missing.
There are lots of cultural differences working here rather than Cleveland which I'll have to get used too. I've noticed lots of younger married couples. Much more use of alternative medicine and fewer smokers. (In my one week sample of course).
I've rounded twice and have been amazed both times at the sweet simplicity of the work flow. No complicated med rec, no duplication to the point of madness... sigh. I think I'm going to really like it here. My partners are all very different but are all very nice. The nurses and office staff are helpful and patient.
...lets just wait and see how I feel after next weekend. I round and take call for 5 days. I hope it's not to busy.

I LOVE the 80s

2009-07-15T19:34:00.002-04:00

So most of you know I'm not that into U-Tube and I've never posted a video clip on this blog but this one really made me laugh. You should check it out.

watch out for that angel kid....

Correction

2009-07-14T16:45:00.001-04:00

Thank you anonymous. My source was wrong the election is indeed a fundraiser for the Omena Historical Society.

You can buy a mayoral spot in Omena Michigan....

2009-07-13T18:24:00.003-04:00

But only if you are a dog, or a horse or a cat.

I kid you not. Omena Michigan (in our new home county) is electing it's first mayor in 150 years. There are 27 candidates, all animals. You can vote as many times as you want. One dollar a vote. Proceeds are going toward the humane society.

Just throwing this out there....

2009-06-29T22:44:00.004-04:00

Is it OK to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies before I actually read Pride and Prejudice? Yes please feel free to comment on the gaping hole in my public school education.

On Inheriting Roses

2009-06-28T08:20:00.002-04:00

Joel, Adeline and I moved into our new home almost a month ago and we LOVE it. We feel so much at home already it's hard to believe that we have actually spent so little time there. We have been back to Cleveland for 9 days so that I could work and I am back again now for the same reason. Everyone asks if there were any surprises when we moved in. (When we moved into our Cleveland home we discovered a dishwasher that was broken among other things) Both of us agree that it is better than we remembered it being. Most of that has to do with the garden.

The flower gardens are amazing. There is Lupine and foxglove, daises of every color, peonies, violets, columbines, clematis, wisteria and roses. In fact there are so many rose bushes that I tried to count them on one of our first days there and gave up when I hit 26 in the back yard. There has to be a dozen more in the front and I have found a few more hiding in the back that I know I missed on the first count. There are beautiful heirloom, climbing, and knockout roses, huge trellised hedges and small bloom covered bushes and I haven't the slightest clue what to do with them.

I've never had roses before. No I take that back. I've never been able to keep arose alive before and now I've got this instant prize collection of them. I'm so scared I'm going to kill them. This garden was obviously somebodies pride and joy I would feel horrible if I turned it all to thorny dust even if I never knew the person. I feel responsible for these flowers like someone has left their pet with me and I don't know how to care for it.....

SO.... I am seeking advice on the care and maintenance of roses from anyone who is willing to share their secrets. Especially if you've got any green or natural solutions to what to feed them and rid them of aphids.

I have some pictures I'll try to post soon but my computer here at work won't accept my memory card now so you'll have to wait but trust me they're pretty.

Running Naked and Track Etiquette

2009-04-15T17:36:00.003-04:00

Today I had to be out of the house for four hours while it was being inspected. I decided to go to the gym. This is usually a pretty relaxing thing for me to do and a good way to burn a couple hours. Today however it was pretty stressful.
First off I forgot my ipod. Without that small piece of wonderful technology along with my nike+ attachment wrapped onto my arm I don't know my pace or how many laps I've done. I am also pretty addicted to the music. I have a very eclectic mix of running music from Kanye West to The Drop Kick Murpheys and a few pop stars that shall remain nameless. I love it all. So I felt a little naked and weird without it to start.
Then I decided to run on the track which mid day has it's fair share of older people walking on it. I'm not talking about 60 or 70 year olds. I'm talking about OLD people. But that's OK I can deal and I'm always happy to see them out. They usually stick to the inside lane and I lap them 3-4 times a turn. There are even a few I have gotten to know and exchange "Hellos", "How are yous" and "You're looking goods". Today there were all sorts of weird things going on on the track. It was packed and just about every piece of track etiquette was thrown by the way side. For example

Track Etiquette #1: Stay in your lane.
Today people were wandering in and out of lanes like drunk ducks. (Trust me we used to have a pet duck with a bit of a problem) They always managed to wander into my lane right before I was going to pass.

Track Etiquette #2: Stay out of the running lane unless you are running.
The fourth lane is the fast lane, has been since the beginning of time. It's the easiest to run, it's the most accurate measure of distance and in competition reserved for the #1 seed. If you are walking and getting lapped by Violet and her walker with the tennis balls and streamers on it or if you are just standing on the track watching your boyfriend lift weights. GET OUT OF THE RUNNING LANE.

Track Etiquette #3: The track is a one way street. Just go with the flow.
Today there were two women that despite being asked very politely by Violet and others to please turn around and walk in the right direction... refused. They were also violating articles #1 and #2.

Track Etiquette #4: Don't spit gum on the track
It jams up the walkers

Track Etiquette #5: Cover up your junk.
You know who you are. 'nuf said

Despite all of these obstacles I managed to finish 4 miles in pretty good time and didn't resort to violence once. We'll see what happens when we get the results from the inspection.

CRASH

2009-03-08T13:46:00.002-04:00

Nothing gets my heartrate up like a crash C-section. For those of you who aren't familiar with this concept it's basically a "We've got to get this baby out NOW" situation where they wheel mom down to the OR fast and put her under general anesthesia while everyone scrambles to get ready for a potentially really sick baby. The worst is when they start cutting mom (sans epidural) before anesthesia gets a chance to get there. I can't imagine what that feels like but if it were me I know it would be worth the pain.
Anyway, I'm usually pretty cool in a code. I don't yell or throw things I just kind of work. I feel like I go into distance running mode, heartrate up but not beating out of my chest. However, crash sections leave me a mess. I get flushed, my hands tremble as I'm trying to assemble suction and laryngoscopes, my heart flutters in my throat and then the baby comes. If it's bad I go into code mode and calm down. If the baby comes out screaming I start to cry and my legs go numb. I can't explain it.
Either way I have had way more than my share of codes recently.

HGTV DIET

2009-03-08T09:17:00.003-04:00

Well it's done. Our house is officially on the market and I am officially exhausted. It seems like for months strait Joel and I have been waxing, scrubbing, polishing, rip-n-renewing, sanding, priming, painting and more. As a result I haven't made it out for as many runs as I would like but yesterday (after cleaning the closet) I found an old pair of "Skinny Jeans" and I tried to put them on. They were basically hanging on my hips. Huh? What happened? I don't feel thinner. I feel like a primer covered, ratty haired slob. My only conclusion is that cleaning and home improvement in general must really burn as many calories as people have always said.

SO

For 50$ anyone who wants to loose that last 5 pounds can come over and help me lay mulch in the yard whenever they want! :-)

You know you've had a bad call when...

2009-02-26T20:19:00.001-05:00

You've shoved a tube down two different sets of infant vocal cords within six hours.

Soy??? Really Kid?

2009-02-19T13:56:00.002-05:00

Adeline is not a picky eater. She loves veggies and meat and just about everything that we put on her tray. (She snubbed the Tai food but I think it was a little early for green curry) But she will NOT touch cows milk. I nursed for nearly a year. She gulped down pumped milk like a fiend and when I stopped pumping about a month ago she drank formula without hesitation but I have tried every trick I know and she won't touch cows milk. A few days ago at my mother's suggestion I brought home some plain soy milk and presto she drank it. Joel is bummed 'cause this means that there will be no more whole milk in the fridge but I'm just ahppy Adeline will drink something besides water and I don't have to force extra vitamin D drops down her throat.

What does this say about us?

2009-02-10T09:15:00.003-05:00

Joel and I have been doing the Netflix thing for about 6 months now. We don't watch a lot of movies or TV but we do spend a lot more time at home now that we have Adeline. recently Netflix suggested a movie for us based on what we have liked in the past. It was Requium For A Dream. We watched it, a little stunned I must admit. It was a good movie but it made me thing what kind of stuff have we been watching that made Netflix think this would be good for us. Surlely it wasn't Wanted or Timeline. It must have been Soylent Green (It's People!!!!!!), Hotel Rawanda, or No Country For Old Men (What the Hell??!!!). In any case I think it's time I figured out how to use Netflix and see what Joel has in our Queue.

I Hate Late People

2009-02-05T10:43:00.003-05:00

first off let's not confuse what I mean here. Socially, among friends late is not a big deal. You just sit back and have an appetizer and a drink until they come. What I hate is people who are late to their jobs.
Yesterday I finished a 24 hour shift at 9 am but my replacement didn't come in until 9:45!!!! That means after sign out I didn't leave the hospital until 10. Which made me an hour late for my meeting at a different hospital which was then dragged out over the rest of the morning to fit into others schedules. I wanted to scream. And now today I have to do all the things that I wanted to do yesterday morning after work. Yes the weather was bad yesterday but this particular doctor is never there for sign out before 9:20. The rest of the 6 people in the group are fed up. The rest of us are usually there 15 minutes early so that the post call person can be on the road by 9 at the latest. Half the group refuse to be on the schedule so that he follows them. I'm close. the problem is that this particular partner works a lot of hours, has a lot of seniority and brings Lakewood a lot of business.
Never the less it is SO unprofessional and discourteous I feel I have say something....

Fire and Wine

2009-02-03T23:21:00.003-05:00

It's Tuesday night. I am really tired and still at work. I will be at work for another 10 hours. The only bright spot is that tomorrow is Wednesday Fire and Wine night with Joel. It's the night every week that we put the baby down, turn everything off (phones, TV, computer), sit in front of the fire and drink wine. I really look forward to it each week. It is our night to ourselves to reconnect, relax and vent hardcore about kids and parents. Some weeks Wednesday night Fire and Wine comes on Thursdays or Tuesdays instead of Wednesdays and that's just fine as long as it happens...

My Awesome Husband

2009-01-25T13:19:00.002-05:00

Joel fixed the vacuum cleaner yesterday. I couldn't even figure out what kind of tool to use to take the damn thing apart but Joel not only knew what tool to use but we actually had one. He knew what to do once he took it a part and (wait for the most amazing thing).... he knew how to fix it and put it back together. My hero.

Then he made lasagna from scratch. Meaning he made his own noodles and everything. Half the noodles were spinach and the rest were plain. It was very yummy and he even did all the dishes this morning.

But yes we also took a step back. We tried to work in the back hall and put in a new light since we had to take out the light that was there. It wasn't up to code. Now we've found out the only way to put in a light is to basically rip down a wall. Something about a neutral wire and a ground for the hot whatever that means. Anyway we've added that to our list of house conundrums.

But tomorrow and for the 4 days after that Adeline and I are single girls . Joel is going to Napa valley for a conference and we will be home alone. Wish us luck!!

Two Steps Forward One Step Back

2009-01-23T10:52:00.002-05:00

As many of you know, Joel and I have been putting a lot of much needed work into our beloved home. We are planning on putting it on the market sometime soon and realize exactly how hard it is to sell a house now.
We have done a lot of painting and updating but it seems that everytime we take a step forward we also take a step back and it is getting a little frustrating. For example we hire painters to paint the house then we find out several weeks later that they broke a window but it's too late to "pin it on them", we paint the dining room and replace appliances one day, the next we have to hire roofers to clear out our ice damns, I spend a whole day cleaning out closets and refinishing floors and then the vacuum cleaner explodes on me sending a shower of ground up dried cat puke all over the living room. You get the picture.
I know these are all parts of home ownership but it's getting expensive and tiresome so I'm looking for advice:

A: does anyone have a realtor on the East side that they love?
B: does anyone have a vacuum cleaner that has lasted them more than 2 years and still works?

Daunting

2009-01-13T16:00:00.003-05:00

The first blog after about a month of not doing so always seems daunting. So much has happened. Christmas, a trip to Michigan, New Years... They were great but I can't rehash all of that now so I'll start with this:

I made cheese yesterday. I've done a lot of fresh mozarella, ricotta and queso blanco but yesterday was my first batch of hard cheese. I picked a farmhouse cheddar. It was pretty complicated with a lot of picky temperature control to make it turn out right. It's frustrating because I won't know how it turned out for at least 4 weeks. So we'll break it out for Adeline's birthday which is about 5 weeks away.

I think we are going to have a "Dela-versary" party to celebrate us having Adeline for a year now. Joel thinks it is exceedingly silly to have a birthday party for someone who won't remember it like one year olds and really old people. I think it is an absolute MUST to have a one year birthday party. This is our compromise and yes there will be cake. Thoughts on birthday parties for toddlers anyone???

Bad Football

2008-12-16T18:41:00.007-05:00

Warning for any female readers: the following blog contains a blunt discussion of football in the midwest. You should refraid from reading further if the subject bores you to death.

I wanted to share with you a few thoughts on football of late.

1: The Brown's really suck (4-10) but why is all of Cleveland complaining when they could be the Detroit Lions (0-14 now) who are well on their way to the first ever 0-16 season by any NFL team EVER. The Lions are so bad and so hopeless that the Browns better watch out or Detroit might just steal Romeo Crennel and Ken Dorsey out from under Cleveland's nose.

2: I thought it was really funny when Braylon Edwards was denying trade rumors and complaining that he had a target on his back because he played for (I won't say he went to school at) U of Michigan. Is he suggesting that he wants to play for the Lions instead? see above.

3. The highlight of the Browns game last night was that their kicker, Phil Dawson, kicked his 30th field goal of the season. For those of you unfamiliar with the game, that's a lot. That means that 40 some odd yards away is as close as the team can get to the end zone.
Anyway Mr. Dawson had a great quote that I thought I would share with you. It went something like this: Like they say back home, the white spot on the top of the chicken shit is still chicken shit. I don't know where that man is from but I like it.

4. Also in football news and I've saved the best for last: A browns fan was pulled over and ticketed BECAUSE THE LAWN MOVER HE HAD CONVERTED INTO A MOTORIZED COUCH THAT HE USED TO MOVE DRUNK FANS AROUND THE MUNI LOT WHILE TAILGATING HAD EXPIRED PLATES. Come on CPD give the guy a break!

Candy

2008-12-16T18:02:00.002-05:00

If anyone is looking for a sure way to avoid gaining weight over the holidays here is my advice: MAKE CANDY.
No I'm not kidding. I had a day off yesterday and I spent the whole day in the kitchen mixing, melting, kneading, rolling, dipping drizzling and packing. I made about 4 pounds of peanut brittle, 5 dozen chocolate covered cherries, 8+ (I lost count) dozen truffles (mint, coffee, almond and orange flavors) along with about 3 dozen each white and dark chocolate covered pretzel sticks. I also have to finish up a few batches of cream cheese mints and peppermint bark.
And now, as always, I don't want to see another piece of chocolate for at least 3 months. I couldn't even get myself to sample the truffles and I have to rely on Joel's palate to be sure that they taste better than they look. I hope everyone likes candy 'cause if you see me in the next month, it's comin' your way!

S

Split Genre

2008-12-11T09:28:00.003-05:00

I have a confession to make:

I have a split personality when it comes to tastes in books. I never really thought I had a certain genre but now I think I have two.

I really enjoy depressing, "life-vision changing", novels like Kingsolver's Poisonwood Bible (a must read if you haven't already), Martel's Life of Pi and Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera. Throw in The Heart of Darkness and Lord of the Flies and I am one happy camper.

But now I have to admit that I have another favorite genre that I never really thought about. I kind of have a thing for the undead. In highschool and college I ate through Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and Witching Hour series. I really enjoyed Kostova's The Historian and Brooks' World War Z. Now I'm afraid I'm hooked on the Twilight Series. (Thanks Alyssa and be warned Marni).

I just finished reading Twilight because Like Marni I quit reading One Drop. I quit the book club book because I found the author unbearable. I don't really know what a WASP is but I don't think they should be allowed to write books anymore. I only made it 100 pages in and unfortunately I did buy the book, (stupid Amazon credit card). I may try again but it will only be in despirate attempt to keep my perfect 100% reading rate intact. Now I wish I had just bought the whole Twilight series. I should have known. Why have I denied my love for undead books before?

"So What Brings You To The ER Tonight?..." or "How the Grinch Dr. Mulder Stole Christmas"

2008-12-04T22:20:00.005-05:00

I open many of my patient interviews after the usual "Hi I'm Dr. Sarah you must be..." with a joke or an open ended "What brings you in tonight?"
Tonight as I introduced myself to my five year old patient and asked what the matter was, the answer I got was "Is there a Santa Claus?" The little fellow had his sister in the room emphatically shaking her head "no" as well as his mom who just looked at me with pleading "just-break-it-to-him-nice-so-I-don't-have-to-do-it-myself" eyes. I was crushed and at a loss for words and like he just had read my mind, so was my patient. I didn't have to say anything. He just knew by the shocked look on my face.
He started crying and all of a sudden everything hurt.

Which brings me to the question Joel and I are pondering:

How far do you go to foster the idea of Santa Claus?
Is it considered lying to your child?
How and when does it end?

Please never bring your kids to the ED to have the pediatrician on call break the bad news and destroy a beloved childhood icon.

To Wean or Not To Wean

2008-11-17T14:31:00.003-05:00

Warning for any male readers: The following involves a frank discussion of the biologic uses of breasts though no graphic images will be used you should refrain from reading if the subject makes you dizzy or uncomfortable

Well Adeline will be 9 months old on Wednesday and I can't believe how quickly the time has passed. She is getting so big and is such a little person now. She has favorites: her favorite food is carrots, her favorite snack is Teddy grams. Her favorite toy is the remote control. She loves bed time and her story, she waves (I can't say if she means "Hi mommy", "I want that" or "Hey look at my hand") She loves her giraffe and hates the Cheat. She is starting to crawl and loves to stand with a little help of course.
She loves to nurse and I love to nurse her. I especially love the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night nursing sessions. When I think back on learning to nurse and how hard it was in the beginning it is really amazing that I enjoy it so much. I am really happy with our little bonding sessions.
What I hate is pumping. I'm not exactly blessed with the biggest milk supply and I have to pump a lot to get enough to send with her to school while I am on a 24 hour shift. Granted she nurses less now than she did before she started solid foods but it still sucks to be tied to a pump especially at work. Adeline has teeth but she has never bit me. She's a good little nurser I've been very lucky. I just kind of want my body back...a little...I think.
I want to stop pumping but keep nursing. My hesitation is that this will mean that she has to have some formula when she's in daycare and I'll still have to pump when I do 24 hour shifts. I'm so happy to have made it to 9 months which is a lot longer than most professional moms make it and I don't like the idea of formula.... (evil empire peddling the most engineered, least natural product you could buy in the grocery store including Twinkies and hairspray) I just really hate the mechanical twins. I hate the setting up, the pumping, the constant cleaning...

Sigh

So if you have been there before or even if you haven't but would like to give me some advice I would really appreciate it.

S

2008-11-09T21:34:00.002-05:00

I need a bigger Nightstand

I have always loved to read. It is a habit that my parents successfully instilled upon me at a very early age. (I read The Hobbit when I was 8 and was devouring Mitchner by junior high) But, save having a book to read for school and one for "fun", I have always managed to hold myself to one novel at a time. I have tried to adhear to this limit partly because of a touch of ADD but mostly because I was afraid to become my father. (Sorry Dad) I often thought that his demise would come the night the giant stack of partially finished works toppled off of his night stand and crushed him in his sleep. It obviously never happened and I have become lax to my rule. I just finished The Historian, a novel chronicling the death and burial of Dracula in parallel to the hunt for his final resting place. It was nearly 700 pages of Eastern European pseudo-history but I enjoyed it.
But before I finished that I had started Those Who Save Us for our upcoming book club. Together with the trashy novel I picked up for my recent trip to Boston,The Other Boleyn Girl and the pointless Labyrinth which I think I'm going to have to start over if I ever want to give it a fair shot there were 4 novels sitting on my nightstand along with the usual girly things, an alarm clock, lotion, 2 of Adeline's toys, a lamp and a spit rag. My nightstand is only 12"x18".
Meanwhile the list of books I want to read keeps growing and growing.

The Madness needs to stop

2008-10-31T20:12:00.003-04:00

Alyssa, Aarthi, Deven, ANYONE ELSE IN OR FROM TOLEDO!! Do not let Joe the Plumber anywhere near your shitter! The Chode doesn't know what he's talking about!

Yes if you can handle the above 5 minute clip of fox news you find that they are defending Obama's policy on Israel. It must have really hurt.

And a few words for McCain.

1. Stop calling nuclear energy "green" It is not. And fine you want to build 45 nuclear reactors? Where ya gonna put them? I guarantee they won't go in his daughter's backyard or anywhere near any of the 7 houses he owns and neither will the waste they produce. No. It is the poor who live in the shadow of reactors.

2. I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME YOUR FRIEND!!

2008-10-30T09:28:00.001-04:00

Hope is coming
Change is coming
Get out, vote and make it happen!

2008-10-27T16:51:00.003-04:00

Why yes that is baby vomit on my shoe...
why do you ask?

I only mention this because I looked down at my feet during my first overnight shift this past week and noticed that Adeline had vomited on my shoe and I had not bothered to clean it off. It was a new low. I think that must be the definition of "letting yourself go". I went out the next day and joined a gym, cleaned my shoes and vowed to try to take better care of myself.

It was a busy week though. Joel's parents came into town over the weekend so I spent much of the week cleaning in preparation. I then got a little distracted and painted the plant room and redid the floors. It looks great. Next I think I'll do the dining room. Any color suggestions?...

Not being chief is great. I've been able to spend more time with Adeline and more time at home. My first two shifts at lakewood were fine. No I take it back, my first shift was fine. My 24 hour shift this past weekend was awful. It was like I was a resident again. I was up all night admitting patients and clearing plans with other docs. (I'm not the pimary for admitted patients) I saw about 12 kids in 4 hours the ED all of whom actually needed the ED. All I can say is thank God I had gone out the night before and had a fun evening with Kevin and Kelly and 2 pitchers of Maragaritas. (Joel's parents watched Dela)

Speaking of Dela...
We love the Fall!!!

2008-10-17T15:12:00.002-04:00

My pager is off...

For those of you who know me well you also know that my pager is never off. I have been on call every other day for the past 16 months with the exception of 8 weeks of maternity leave. Even then my pager was on vibrate most of the time.

I am no longer a chief resident.

Cleaning out my office was strange and I know that my co-chief will miss me. I feel a little like the big sister who went off to college (again). At any rate I have closed that chapter of my life and I am excited to start the next.

My first shift is Tuesday night. Wish me luck.

2008-10-16T09:27:00.002-04:00

FOUND: Joel's Missing Leg

We are back from Boston. For those of you who don't know, Joel and I went to Boston for the annual meeting of the American Academy of Pediatrics. The conference was great as it always is and I got to spend some good time catching up on some Gen Peds topics that I haven't had a chance to keep up with being chief. I also got to spend some time with Joel and Adeline. We went one afternoon to New Hampshire to see some friends Sean and Sadie. They are expecting their first little boy on Halloween. Joel liked that trip because we rented a Cadillac. Actually we rented a Chevy Aveo or similar but the rental company goofed and we got a wicked, pimped out, black Cady with tinted windows, a killa' sound system and a V8. During that drive (2+ hours to go 60 miles) I decided I could never live on the east coast.

We also spent an afternoon at the New England Aquarium. Adeline loved the turtles and jelly fish. She kept calling the penguins like she calls the cat, "AAh, AAh". She did very well on the trip. She fussed during the plane ride out but slept during the plane ride back.

This was also our first test of cloth diapers on the road without a Nana's house to wash and hide the dirty ones. I have to say it worked out fine. The wet bag we kept in the bathroom at the hotel did it's job great and we didn't have to waste time rinsing etc. I must admit though that I feel sorry for the poor drug sniffing dog that had to check out that suitcase on the way back though. It probably died right there. We're expecting a bill from the department of homeland security to replace their dachshund.

But we are back. Last night was perogies, wine and presidential debating with the Hatgases. Can we all please stop talking about this Joe the plumber? Why isn't anyone talking about Jane behind the counter at Macy's or Jill the single mom in college. At least John McCain stopped calling me his friend.

2008-10-08T07:40:00.002-04:00

Debatable

These come courtesy of my mother. God Bless Her

I may be a little biased but I think Obama won last nights debate. I just wish John McCain would stop calling me "My Friend" I'm not his friend. I'm also beginning to feel a little bit creeped out by the man. His voice during debates is just a little too "guy-in-the-back-of the-bus'ish" and I still haven't decided if his right hand is real or made out of Vietnamese Bamboo.

12 days and 10 minutes

2008-10-04T10:50:00.002-04:00

Scum of the Earth
and no it's not lawyers...

It's doctors who work for insurance companies.
This week was very busy for me. I was "on service" which means that I round with the residents in the hospital all day and answer pages all night. One of my patients this week was a young man whose condition required very intensive inpatient therapy. Ideally it would be at some sort of rehab facility. I got a call from his insurance company on Tuesday saying that they were not going to pay for any more of his hospitalization. In fact they weren't going to pay for the last week either. When I called, the nice lady who answers the phone for them suggested I have a "peer to peer" review of the case. Sounded good to me so I agreed and a little while later the devil himself called me back.
"This is Dr. -------" he said, "I understand you want our decision (Code for we're not paying) reviewed."
So after a long discussion about how this child would not last 24 hours at home, how I feared for his life and well being and how he was much sicker than his numbers looked Dr. Devil told me he wasn't changing his mind. I asked him what I should do for this child. He suggested an inpatient rehab facility. I informed him his boss wasn't paying for that either. After a moment of silence he directed me to an appeals process in not very nice terms. He then told me that my patient and his family would just have to "cope".
That is where things could have really broken down. I wanted to:
1. Ask him how many people you have to kill on the operating table before they take away your licence and you have to work for the insurance company.
2. Ask him if his mother would be proud of what he did every day and if this was the reason he went to medical school. And where the Hell did he go to medical school anyway?
3. Wish this nasty disease on his children so that his employer could deny him of benefits.

But I didn't. I just told him I thought this was rediculous and hung up on him.

Stupid insurance doctors.

2008-09-26T08:35:00.001-04:00

23 Days, 23 hours and 24 minutes....
but who's counting?

2008-09-23T22:17:00.005-04:00

Yes this is Sarah Palin in the 1980s.
Her shirt says "I may be broke but at least I'm not flat busted."
I wonder if this makes her qualified to handle our economic crisis????

S

2008-09-22T07:40:00.002-04:00

One hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much I had in my bank nor what my clothes looked like.

One hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of school I attended, what kind of typewriter I used, how large or small my church, but the world may be a little bit better because I was important in the life of a child.

~ Margaret Fishback Powers ~

Last night at I cured scabies

2008-09-21T10:02:00.001-04:00

OK
So
I do already have a blog but here is my DelEmma:
I need a place I can speak freely. A blog where I can be who I am with my friends in person. My other blog while kept regularly is dedicated to our family. We post pictures of our beautiful daughter, tell watered down stories about our Loony Adventures but because of the audience we have to keep it PG and politically neutral.

I am not always PG and I am definitely not politically neutral.

I am an individual in a perfect family of 3.

I work, I play, I swear and I love

You can follow me if you like.

S