Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Running Naked and Track Etiquette

Today I had to be out of the house for four hours while it was being inspected. I decided to go to the gym. This is usually a pretty relaxing thing for me to do and a good way to burn a couple hours. Today however it was pretty stressful.
First off I forgot my ipod. Without that small piece of wonderful technology along with my nike+ attachment wrapped onto my arm I don't know my pace or how many laps I've done. I am also pretty addicted to the music. I have a very eclectic mix of running music from Kanye West to The Drop Kick Murpheys and a few pop stars that shall remain nameless. I love it all. So I felt a little naked and weird without it to start.
Then I decided to run on the track which mid day has it's fair share of older people walking on it. I'm not talking about 60 or 70 year olds. I'm talking about OLD people. But that's OK I can deal and I'm always happy to see them out. They usually stick to the inside lane and I lap them 3-4 times a turn. There are even a few I have gotten to know and exchange "Hellos", "How are yous" and "You're looking goods". Today there were all sorts of weird things going on on the track. It was packed and just about every piece of track etiquette was thrown by the way side. For example

Track Etiquette #1: Stay in your lane.
Today people were wandering in and out of lanes like drunk ducks. (Trust me we used to have a pet duck with a bit of a problem) They always managed to wander into my lane right before I was going to pass.

Track Etiquette #2: Stay out of the running lane unless you are running.
The fourth lane is the fast lane, has been since the beginning of time. It's the easiest to run, it's the most accurate measure of distance and in competition reserved for the #1 seed. If you are walking and getting lapped by Violet and her walker with the tennis balls and streamers on it or if you are just standing on the track watching your boyfriend lift weights. GET OUT OF THE RUNNING LANE.

Track Etiquette #3: The track is a one way street. Just go with the flow.
Today there were two women that despite being asked very politely by Violet and others to please turn around and walk in the right direction... refused. They were also violating articles #1 and #2.

Track Etiquette #4: Don't spit gum on the track
It jams up the walkers

Track Etiquette #5: Cover up your junk.
You know who you are. 'nuf said

Despite all of these obstacles I managed to finish 4 miles in pretty good time and didn't resort to violence once. We'll see what happens when we get the results from the inspection.