Open Letter to my Treadmill

Dear Sole,

Yeah. I mean you in the corner with the clear plastic sheet draped over your dusty, rubber tread. I've got my eye on you. Don't think for a minute that just because I'm lying here on the floor with 7 pillows propped underneath me in a mad attempt to contort the sciatic pain out of my body that I've forgotten about you. And no, that rolled up yoga mat doesn't hide you from my ire at all.
Oh no.
No way.
I remember.
You and I have a date with my Sauconys, you lazy $!^@*. Now I know it's been nearly a month since we've tangoed. You see all that snow outside. You know full well that these are the kinds of days I love to drip sweat onto your console. Now I know you're laughing at me underneath all that drywall dust laden plastic, I realize that you are chuckling at my sore back and heavy belly. Is that a Mai tai in your water bottle holder??
Even with all your tricks I can still stomp you into the floor. Trust me I'll be back.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but soon.
So be ready. It won't be long now.

Sarah

PS. Sorry I called you a $!^@*. I miss you too.

Could have called that.

Driving down front street today I followed a beat up Subaru for about six blocks. Said Subaru wandered side to side in and out of it's lane. He almost turned about three times but never did. He stopped about fifty feet behind the stop light at Division and shied away into the other lane completely to avoid parked cars going about 15 miles an hour the whole way. The Subaru eventually came to a complete stop in the middle of the road before making a hard right turn into the parking lot......at the Cedar Run Eye Center. Not a moment too soon.

Hang on Tight.....

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick