Bad Football

Warning for any female readers: the following blog contains a blunt discussion of football in the midwest. You should refraid from reading further if the subject bores you to death.

I wanted to share with you a few thoughts on football of late.

1: The Brown's really suck (4-10) but why is all of Cleveland complaining when they could be the Detroit Lions (0-14 now) who are well on their way to the first ever 0-16 season by any NFL team EVER. The Lions are so bad and so hopeless that the Browns better watch out or Detroit might just steal Romeo Crennel and Ken Dorsey out from under Cleveland's nose.

2: I thought it was really funny when Braylon Edwards was denying trade rumors and complaining that he had a target on his back because he played for (I won't say he went to school at) U of Michigan. Is he suggesting that he wants to play for the Lions instead? see above.

3. The highlight of the Browns game last night was that their kicker, Phil Dawson, kicked his 30th field goal of the season. For those of you unfamiliar with the game, that's a lot. That means that 40 some odd yards away is as close as the team can get to the end zone.
Anyway Mr. Dawson had a great quote that I thought I would share with you. It went something like this: Like they say back home, the white spot on the top of the chicken shit is still chicken shit. I don't know where that man is from but I like it.

4. Also in football news and I've saved the best for last: A browns fan was pulled over and ticketed BECAUSE THE LAWN MOVER HE HAD CONVERTED INTO A MOTORIZED COUCH THAT HE USED TO MOVE DRUNK FANS AROUND THE MUNI LOT WHILE TAILGATING HAD EXPIRED PLATES. Come on CPD give the guy a break!

Candy

If anyone is looking for a sure way to avoid gaining weight over the holidays here is my advice: MAKE CANDY.
No I'm not kidding. I had a day off yesterday and I spent the whole day in the kitchen mixing, melting, kneading, rolling, dipping drizzling and packing. I made about 4 pounds of peanut brittle, 5 dozen chocolate covered cherries, 8+ (I lost count) dozen truffles (mint, coffee, almond and orange flavors) along with about 3 dozen each white and dark chocolate covered pretzel sticks. I also have to finish up a few batches of cream cheese mints and peppermint bark.
And now, as always, I don't want to see another piece of chocolate for at least 3 months. I couldn't even get myself to sample the truffles and I have to rely on Joel's palate to be sure that they taste better than they look. I hope everyone likes candy 'cause if you see me in the next month, it's comin' your way!

S

Split Genre

I have a confession to make:

I have a split personality when it comes to tastes in books. I never really thought I had a certain genre but now I think I have two.

I really enjoy depressing, "life-vision changing", novels like Kingsolver's Poisonwood Bible (a must read if you haven't already), Martel's Life of Pi and Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera. Throw in The Heart of Darkness and Lord of the Flies and I am one happy camper.

But now I have to admit that I have another favorite genre that I never really thought about. I kind of have a thing for the undead. In highschool and college I ate through Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and Witching Hour series. I really enjoyed Kostova's The Historian and Brooks' World War Z. Now I'm afraid I'm hooked on the Twilight Series. (Thanks Alyssa and be warned Marni).

I just finished reading Twilight because Like Marni I quit reading One Drop. I quit the book club book because I found the author unbearable. I don't really know what a WASP is but I don't think they should be allowed to write books anymore. I only made it 100 pages in and unfortunately I did buy the book, (stupid Amazon credit card). I may try again but it will only be in despirate attempt to keep my perfect 100% reading rate intact. Now I wish I had just bought the whole Twilight series. I should have known. Why have I denied my love for undead books before?

"So What Brings You To The ER Tonight?..." or "How the Grinch Dr. Mulder Stole Christmas"

I open many of my patient interviews after the usual "Hi I'm Dr. Sarah you must be..." with a joke or an open ended "What brings you in tonight?"
Tonight as I introduced myself to my five year old patient and asked what the matter was, the answer I got was "Is there a Santa Claus?" The little fellow had his sister in the room emphatically shaking her head "no" as well as his mom who just looked at me with pleading "just-break-it-to-him-nice-so-I-don't-have-to-do-it-myself" eyes. I was crushed and at a loss for words and like he just had read my mind, so was my patient. I didn't have to say anything. He just knew by the shocked look on my face.
He started crying and all of a sudden everything hurt.

Which brings me to the question Joel and I are pondering:

How far do you go to foster the idea of Santa Claus?
Is it considered lying to your child?
How and when does it end?

Please never bring your kids to the ED to have the pediatrician on call break the bad news and destroy a beloved childhood icon.

To Wean or Not To Wean

Warning for any male readers: The following involves a frank discussion of the biologic uses of breasts though no graphic images will be used you should refrain from reading if the subject makes you dizzy or uncomfortable

Well Adeline will be 9 months old on Wednesday and I can't believe how quickly the time has passed. She is getting so big and is such a little person now. She has favorites: her favorite food is carrots, her favorite snack is Teddy grams. Her favorite toy is the remote control. She loves bed time and her story, she waves (I can't say if she means "Hi mommy", "I want that" or "Hey look at my hand") She loves her giraffe and hates the Cheat. She is starting to crawl and loves to stand with a little help of course.
She loves to nurse and I love to nurse her. I especially love the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night nursing sessions. When I think back on learning to nurse and how hard it was in the beginning it is really amazing that I enjoy it so much. I am really happy with our little bonding sessions.
What I hate is pumping. I'm not exactly blessed with the biggest milk supply and I have to pump a lot to get enough to send with her to school while I am on a 24 hour shift. Granted she nurses less now than she did before she started solid foods but it still sucks to be tied to a pump especially at work. Adeline has teeth but she has never bit me. She's a good little nurser I've been very lucky. I just kind of want my body back...a little...I think.
I want to stop pumping but keep nursing. My hesitation is that this will mean that she has to have some formula when she's in daycare and I'll still have to pump when I do 24 hour shifts. I'm so happy to have made it to 9 months which is a lot longer than most professional moms make it and I don't like the idea of formula.... (evil empire peddling the most engineered, least natural product you could buy in the grocery store including Twinkies and hairspray) I just really hate the mechanical twins. I hate the setting up, the pumping, the constant cleaning...

Sigh

So if you have been there before or even if you haven't but would like to give me some advice I would really appreciate it.

S

I need a bigger Nightstand

I have always loved to read. It is a habit that my parents successfully instilled upon me at a very early age. (I read The Hobbit when I was 8 and was devouring Mitchner by junior high) But, save having a book to read for school and one for "fun", I have always managed to hold myself to one novel at a time. I have tried to adhear to this limit partly because of a touch of ADD but mostly because I was afraid to become my father. (Sorry Dad) I often thought that his demise would come the night the giant stack of partially finished works toppled off of his night stand and crushed him in his sleep. It obviously never happened and I have become lax to my rule. I just finished The Historian, a novel chronicling the death and burial of Dracula in parallel to the hunt for his final resting place. It was nearly 700 pages of Eastern European pseudo-history but I enjoyed it.
But before I finished that I had started Those Who Save Us for our upcoming book club. Together with the trashy novel I picked up for my recent trip to Boston,The Other Boleyn Girl and the pointless Labyrinth which I think I'm going to have to start over if I ever want to give it a fair shot there were 4 novels sitting on my nightstand along with the usual girly things, an alarm clock, lotion, 2 of Adeline's toys, a lamp and a spit rag. My nightstand is only 12"x18".
Meanwhile the list of books I want to read keeps growing and growing.

The Madness needs to stop

Alyssa, Aarthi, Deven, ANYONE ELSE IN OR FROM TOLEDO!! Do not let Joe the Plumber anywhere near your shitter! The Chode doesn't know what he's talking about!







Yes if you can handle the above 5 minute clip of fox news you find that they are defending Obama's policy on Israel. It must have really hurt.

And a few words for McCain.

1. Stop calling nuclear energy "green" It is not. And fine you want to build 45 nuclear reactors? Where ya gonna put them? I guarantee they won't go in his daughter's backyard or anywhere near any of the 7 houses he owns and neither will the waste they produce. No. It is the poor who live in the shadow of reactors.

2. I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME YOUR FRIEND!!